Satmabweedan is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, selfish armadillo.

Satmabweedan created the Tadpole Galaxy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Satmabweedan, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Satmabweedan, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Satmabweedan's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Satmabweedan's Holy Commandments

1. Satmabweedan must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Always make sure there are no dogs in a room before entering it.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not take Satmabweedan's name in vain.