Hamwondaghakzed is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, intelligent slug.

Hamwondaghakzed created a down quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hamwondaghakzed, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Hamwondaghakzed, it will turn you into a dog.

Hamwondaghakzed's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Hamwondaghakzed's Holy Commandments

1. Erect four silver sculptures of Hamwondaghakzed on top of important buildings.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate tortoises.

4. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Hamwondaghakzed in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not dye your hair purple.