Bagmipbarn is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, weak otter.

Bagmipbarn created matter two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bagmipbarn, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bagmipbarn, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Bagmipbarn's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Bagmipbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Sheep are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Hide if seven horses approach from the south.

3. Never sing in holy places.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not trade with those who eat figs.