Tadtam is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, loving swallow.

Tadtam created the Large Magellanic Cloud four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tadtam, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tadtam, he will turn you into a snail.

Tadtam's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Tadtam's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry porpoises.

2. Always treat goats with great respect.

3. Never talk about thermodynamics.

4. Do not hurt swans.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.