Figgigkik Tabstafdad is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, ruthless wombat.

Figgigkik Tabstafdad created a Higgs boson five million years ago.

If you believe in Figgigkik Tabstafdad, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Figgigkik Tabstafdad, it will turn you into a mouse.

Figgigkik Tabstafdad's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Figgigkik Tabstafdad's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt dogs.

2. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not dye your hair orange.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.