Cepbidnill is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, astonishing monkey.

Cepbidnill created the universe four billion years ago.

If you believe in Cepbidnill, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Cepbidnill, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Cepbidnill's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Cepbidnill's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cepbidnill.

3. Never paint your legs brown.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.