Fothognull is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, temperamental parrot.

Fothognull created Mount Everest six million years ago.

If you believe in Fothognull, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Fothognull, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Fothognull's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Fothognull's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about enzymes.

2. Otters are not to be trusted.

3. Always help ducks in need.

4. You must pray to Fothognull six times a day.

5. Run away from purple geese, for they are unholy.