Zedwiknut is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, self-confident hedgehog.

Zedwiknut created an electron four billion years ago.

If you believe in Zedwiknut, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Zedwiknut, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Zedwiknut's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Zedwiknut's Holy Commandments

1. Put Zedwiknut first in all things.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate squirrels.

3. Do not speak about turnips.

4. Never talk about turtles.

5. Do not wear copper on your body.