Bitgomnig is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, unthoughtful fly.

Bitgomnig created viruses five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bitgomnig, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bitgomnig, she will turn you into a sheep.

Bitgomnig's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Bitgomnig's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Never go into green rooms.

4. Erect eight nickel sculptures of Bitgomnig on top of important buildings.

5. Fast once a month.