Quamnak is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, annoying dragon.

Quamnak created life four billion years ago.

If you believe in Quamnak, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Quamnak, she will turn you into a mouse.

Quamnak's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Quamnak's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry tapirs.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Quamnak.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never wear tights.

5. Quamnak must be the most important thing in your life.