Arpbonpas is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, merciful wombat.

Arpbonpas created vertebrates five million years ago.

If you believe in Arpbonpas, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Arpbonpas, it will curse you with boils.

Arpbonpas' most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Arpbonpas' Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Learn four new languages a year.

3. Do not shave your face.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Always wear brown.