Hitmingil Wapzagzanquam is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, staggering wren.

Hitmingil Wapzagzanquam created silver two billion years ago.

If you believe in Hitmingil Wapzagzanquam, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hitmingil Wapzagzanquam, it will think nothing of it.

Hitmingil Wapzagzanquam's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Hitmingil Wapzagzanquam's Holy Commandments

1. Put Hitmingil Wapzagzanquam first in all things.

2. Always look after injured pigs.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never wear shirts.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.