Miljarnteen is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, impressive wombat.

Miljarnteen created a top quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Miljarnteen, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Miljarnteen, she will send you a sign.

Miljarnteen's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Miljarnteen's Holy Commandments

1. Foxes are not to be trusted.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never bounce near ants.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

5. Never feed lentils to voles while wearing dresses.