Flaprillgar is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, selfish crocodile.

Flaprillgar created a Higgs boson five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flaprillgar, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Flaprillgar, he will turn you into a mouse.

Flaprillgar's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Flaprillgar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear gold on your body.

2. Always help sick voles.

3. Never eat lentils.

4. Never feed garlic to snakes while wearing blue dresses.

5. Pray towards the south.