Vonkcepfet is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, capable ferret.

Vonkcepfet created tapeworms two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkcepfet, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Vonkcepfet, he will try to impress you with trees.

Vonkcepfet's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Vonkcepfet's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never think about optics.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never look at galaxies.