Armnardanspag Wapnarttik is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, witty skunk.

Armnardanspag Wapnarttik created a Higgs boson two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Armnardanspag Wapnarttik, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Armnardanspag Wapnarttik, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Armnardanspag Wapnarttik's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Armnardanspag Wapnarttik's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about thermodynamics near grasshopers while wearing orange tights and balancing six gold spheres on your chest.

2. Always help sick ants.

3. Armnardanspag Wapnarttik loves hamsters, so they must be honoured.

4. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Armnardanspag Wapnarttik in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never feed lentils to nematodes while wearing shoes.