Bamsinmegstik is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, moody salamander.

Bamsinmegstik created time and space four billion years ago.

If you believe in Bamsinmegstik, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bamsinmegstik, he will boil you in a big pot.

Bamsinmegstik's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Bamsinmegstik's Holy Commandments

1. Always help porpoises.

2. Horses are not to be trusted.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Do not speak about garlic.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.