Nartfub is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, tranquil dolphin.

Nartfub created a strange quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Nartfub, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Nartfub, he will turn you into a puffin.

Nartfub's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Nartfub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sing in public.

2. Erect eight titanium sculptures of Nartfub on top of important buildings.

3. Never think ill of sick snails.

4. Never eat grapes.

5. You must pray to Nartfub five times a day.