Jigzenquaf is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, emotional dog.

Jigzenquaf created an electron four years ago.

If you believe in Jigzenquaf, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Jigzenquaf, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Jigzenquaf's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Jigzenquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt gulls.

2. Never think about dark energy near squirrels while wearing white kilts and balancing five platinum spheres on your arms.

3. Never think about galaxies.

4. Do not dye your hair brown.

5. Always treat aardvarks with great respect.