Kopponwigtargkipjadfat is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, uncaring hyena.

Kopponwigtargkipjadfat created parasitic wasps five million years ago.

If you believe in Kopponwigtargkipjadfat, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Kopponwigtargkipjadfat, she will boil you in a big pot.

Kopponwigtargkipjadfat's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Kopponwigtargkipjadfat's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate hamsters.

2. Always wear blue.

3. Never feed lots of pineapples to otters while wearing orange trousers.

4. Learn six new languages a year.

5. Worship no other gods but Kopponwigtargkipjadfat.