Vigfemcab Jantabjab is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, unthoughtful sheep.

Vigfemcab Jantabjab created a photon nine million years ago.

If you believe in Vigfemcab Jantabjab, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Vigfemcab Jantabjab, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Vigfemcab Jantabjab's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Vigfemcab Jantabjab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not skip in public.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.