Fumfosstail is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, pitiless pig.

Fumfosstail created the Large Magellanic Cloud four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fumfosstail, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Fumfosstail, he will not care.

Fumfosstail's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Fumfosstail's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Hide from black great tits for they are unholy.

3. Do not keep eight goats in a large pit.

4. Always look after injured ducks.

5. Feed all hungry manatees.