Rakgodgab is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, staggering tortoise.

Rakgodgab created a charm quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Rakgodgab, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Rakgodgab, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Rakgodgab's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Rakgodgab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about seals.

2. Do not wear magenta clothing.

3. Do not eat rice.

4. You must never eat limes.

5. Always help turtles in need.