Raptargyok is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, benevolent newt.

Raptargyok created an electron seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Raptargyok, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Raptargyok, she will ignore you.

Raptargyok's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Raptargyok's Holy Commandments

1. Cats are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Raptargyok.

3. Always help geese in need.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not make images of living things.