Gunkadgem is a god.

It takes the form of a small, boastful faun.

Gunkadgem created a Higgs boson three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gunkadgem, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gunkadgem, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Gunkadgem's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Gunkadgem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat limes.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gunkadgem.

3. Never go into mauve rooms.

4. Feed all hungry aardvarks.

5. Never pour water over plants.