Latnigcam is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, fast monkey.

Latnigcam created gold eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Latnigcam, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Latnigcam, he will turn you into a mouse.

Latnigcam's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Latnigcam's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Run away if five hamsters approach from the east.

3. Never feed peas to nematodes while wearing orange ear rings.

4. Never think ill of sick aardvarks.

5. Always make sure there are no frogs in a room before entering it.