Dosscimkar is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, confident dove.

Dosscimkar created the universe five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dosscimkar, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dosscimkar, it will destroy your favourite star.

Dosscimkar's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Dosscimkar's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Run away from green cats, for they are unholy.

3. Erect six platinum sculptures of Dosscimkar on top of important buildings.

4. Never eat limes.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.