Toncisscar is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, intelligent beaver.

Toncisscar created a Higgs boson five billion years ago.

If you believe in Toncisscar, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Toncisscar, it will turn you into a rock.

Toncisscar's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Toncisscar's Holy Commandments

1. Put Toncisscar first in all things.

2. Always help sick horses.

3. Erect six gold sculptures of Toncisscar on top of important buildings.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never wear hats.