Flabgebcar is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, two-faced elephant.

Flabgebcar created vertebrates four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flabgebcar, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Flabgebcar, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Flabgebcar's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Flabgebcar's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never paint your arms orange.

4. Flabgebcar loves ants, so they must be respected.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate seals.