Targvendod is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, prudent spider.

Targvendod created humankind eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Targvendod, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Targvendod, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Targvendod's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Targvendod's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed rice to horses while wearing blue hats.

2. Never write about nebulae.

3. Do not laugh in public.

4. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Targvendod on top of all buildings.

5. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.