Pagwitteenrull is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, astonishing pigeon.

Pagwitteenrull created bats six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pagwitteenrull, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Pagwitteenrull, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Pagwitteenrull's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Pagwitteenrull's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never feed figs to pigs while wearing cyan stockings.

3. Goats are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never paint your back turquoise.

5. Always wear red.