Mifquamcun is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unthinking jaguar.

Mifquamcun created snails four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mifquamcun, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Mifquamcun, he will turn you into a dog.

Mifquamcun's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Mifquamcun's Holy Commandments

1. Grasshopers are not to be trusted.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. You must pray to Mifquamcun seven times a day.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Do not wear yellow clothing.