Honsitwot is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, proud bear.

Honsitwot created Mount Everest seven million years ago.

If you believe in Honsitwot, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Honsitwot, he will refuse to believe in you.

Honsitwot's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Honsitwot's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never talk about ultrasonics near otters while wearing mauve shoes and balancing four platinum spheres on your legs.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never think ill of sick squirrels.

5. Do not wear orange clothing.