Garwiggof is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, proud dog.

Garwiggof created Africa four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Garwiggof, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Garwiggof, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Garwiggof's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Garwiggof's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Garwiggof in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force near cats while wearing orange boots and balancing four silicon spheres on your chest.

4. Never mention mites.

5. Do not make images of living things.