Targnakbut is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, slow gorilla.

Targnakbut created energy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Targnakbut, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Targnakbut, she will throw large rocks at you.

Targnakbut's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Targnakbut's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Targnakbut.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never talk about dogs.