Gutkarcab is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, merciful capybara.

Gutkarcab created tapeworms four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gutkarcab, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Gutkarcab, he will turn you into a snail.

Gutkarcab's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Gutkarcab's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not hurt otters.

3. Do not trade with those who eat lemons.

4. Always look after injured frogs.

5. Never paint your hands magenta.