Fasfoncap is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, two-faced fly.

Fasfoncap created a Higgs boson six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fasfoncap, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Fasfoncap, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Fasfoncap's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Fasfoncap's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from purple snails for they are unholy.

2. Never talk about dogs.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. You must love Fasfoncap.