Vonwabcantonk is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, omniscient butterfly.

Vonwabcantonk created vertebrates two million years ago.

If you believe in Vonwabcantonk, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Vonwabcantonk, he will come to you in dreams.

Vonwabcantonk's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Vonwabcantonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of bananas to moths while wearing black ear rings.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never go into turquoise rooms.