Gessflatquart is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, humane mink.

Gessflatquart created the Cigar Galaxy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gessflatquart, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gessflatquart, he will think nothing of it.

Gessflatquart's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Gessflatquart's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick sheep.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never look at stars.