Lakfigarp is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, all-knowing naga.

Lakfigarp created time and space three million years ago.

If you believe in Lakfigarp, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Lakfigarp, she will send minions to preach to you.

Lakfigarp's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Lakfigarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear dresses.

2. Put Lakfigarp first in all things.

3. Always make sure there are no shrews in a building before entering it.

4. Always wear cyan.

5. Never run in holy places.