Fotgubkom Lantigvig is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, emotional gerbil.

Fotgubkom Lantigvig created viruses four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fotgubkom Lantigvig, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Fotgubkom Lantigvig, he will manifest in front of you.

Fotgubkom Lantigvig's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Fotgubkom Lantigvig's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate birds.

3. Do not trade with those who eat apples.

4. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.