Lakyikflam is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, clever skunk.

Lakyikflam created tapeworms two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lakyikflam, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Lakyikflam, he will not care at all.

Lakyikflam's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Lakyikflam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Always wear mauve.

4. Always look after injured dolphins.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate grasshopers.