Shavwikjig Armwip is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, awesome grasshopper.

Shavwikjig Armwip created a strange quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Shavwikjig Armwip, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Shavwikjig Armwip, he will throw large rocks at you.

Shavwikjig Armwip's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Shavwikjig Armwip's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from pink grasshopers for they are unholy.

2. Never feed corn to manatees while wearing violet trousers.

3. Always treat ants with great respect.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never look at comets.