Farnmilken is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, slow wolf.

Farnmilken created Mount Everest seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Farnmilken, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Farnmilken, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Farnmilken's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Farnmilken's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat limes.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never feed lots of garlic to snails while wearing magenta stockings.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Run away if six geese approach from the north.