Davmifhambeg is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, irritating hippopotamus.

Davmifhambeg created the planet Mars nine million years ago.

If you believe in Davmifhambeg, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Davmifhambeg, he will turn you into a dog.

Davmifhambeg's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Davmifhambeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at comets.

2. Run away from black pigs, for they are unholy.

3. Never paint your arms blue.

4. Never write about asteroids.

5. Never sprint in holy places.