Vedgemquaf is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, moody dove.

Vedgemquaf created the solar system nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vedgemquaf, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Vedgemquaf, she will be very unhappy.

Vedgemquaf's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Vedgemquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never talk about dwarf planets.

3. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Vedgemquaf in the centre of the settlement.

4. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

5. Never write about cell theory.