Vonkyikzed Sagzakbast is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, prudent centaur.

Vonkyikzed Sagzakbast created bats seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkyikzed Sagzakbast, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Vonkyikzed Sagzakbast, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Vonkyikzed Sagzakbast's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Vonkyikzed Sagzakbast's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Always help rats.

5. Put Vonkyikzed Sagzakbast first in all things.