Kimsogpag Watmidcum is a god.

He takes the form of a large, astonishing tapir.

Kimsogpag Watmidcum created the Sombrero Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Kimsogpag Watmidcum, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Kimsogpag Watmidcum, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Kimsogpag Watmidcum's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Kimsogpag Watmidcum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Learn seven new languages a year.

5. Do not eat spinach.