Dissdonkonfid is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, compassionate otter.

Dissdonkonfid created gold six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dissdonkonfid, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Dissdonkonfid, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Dissdonkonfid's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Dissdonkonfid's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear red.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Dissdonkonfid.

4. Learn eight new languages a year.

5. Always stare at clouds.