Cebcaphiv is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, slow otter.

Cebcaphiv created the planet Jupiter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cebcaphiv, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Cebcaphiv, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Cebcaphiv's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Cebcaphiv's Holy Commandments

1. Cebcaphiv loves aardvarks, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not keep six porpoises in a large pit.

3. Never think about quantum gravity near mites while wearing pink skirts and balancing five iron spheres on your feet.

4. Never mention mice.

5. Never look at black holes.